Geez Funny Status Messages

   Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don't make eye contact while eating a banana...

   hates when his hand falls asleep, it usually means it's going to be up all night

   The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail...

   I'd probably get a lot more done if it wasn't for me.

   Like Buttons: for people too lazy to post a comment.

   Besides the fact that random people are bursting into flames walking down the street, It's beautiful outside!

   I don't think tom even uses myspace anymore.

   The Nigerian goalkeeper is refunding money for anybody that was disappointed with their performance at the World Cup. He said, a representative will contact you via email. Please give them your bank account #s and pin information...

   Note to Self: when going on the first date, must make sure that both parties have the same understanding of what "eating out " means.

   I have a great sense of humor... --If you don't believe me, look at my Ex!

   The economy is so bad, If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.

   The economy is so bad, a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

   The political correctness has gone mad. I can't even refer to my child as "my disabled son". Apparently the correct term is "daughter"!?!?

   I love sleep so much that its the first thing I think about when I wake up....

   wonders if rappers know that Ben Franklin was never president of the USA.

   In the past, people got fired putting that they hate their job on facebook. well I HATE MY JOB! I HATE MY JOB! --hope this works for me.

   you know the economy is bad when you walk by a can on the ground and think: dammit I should've picked that up!

   My ex-girfriend has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh... if you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean!

   NBA Wives is a better name than "The Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of ex-Miami Heat players that weren't really that good except for maybe Shaq...

   1-2 Freddy's coming for you... ---oh wait! wrong movie! Happy Friday the 13th!