Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages

   The Log Cabin Syrup logo is offensive to trees

   Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to fly a helicopter.

   price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.

   'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard

   How come when someone is missing the media makes them out to be a saint? Why not just say 'yeah their a jerk but lets find them anyway?'

   The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world

   she is never yours, its just your turn.

   Most of you are 10s because of inflation.

   How come kindness was never an option in Clue

   You know, while we’re at it, don’t look directly at me today either.

   Her: pour some sugar on me Me: but there are bees out though

   I may not know much, but I know mayo doesn't go on a taco.

   If no one told you that you're beautiful today well I'm not about to start. Move on.

   I have to make it to heaven, I want to see Circuit City and Blockbuster again.

   If I am ever at death's door I am leaving a flaming bag of poop on his front steps

   Life is like peeing up a drain pipe, it all comes back to you.

   I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.

   When your phone dies and you realize you're jealous

   For those of you that watched the debate, I basically did the same thing, only when I was done picking my nose, I had something to show for it

   I dont like my eyes, they show me things I dont want to see.