Corey C Funny Status Messages

   Love how you keep me warm and make me feel safe. Never a scornfull word or negative comment. Always pick me up when I am feeling down. You smell good all the time and are steaming with pleasure.......Coffee, I think I love you........

   when judging someone for falling down remember someday you may need them to help you up.

   My son has been sitting at the computer for so long I almost watered him today..........

   Remembering how easy life was in kindergarten. As long as you had the biggest box of crayons and the coolest lunch box you ruled the school......

   Wants to find something else for my dryer to eat besides one of every sock.

   Remembers the dude that answered his door in sweats and a motley crue tshirt who forgot it was Halloween? He rumages through his cupboards and out of guilt gives you 10 pop tarts and a tube of pringles...........Halloween Jackpot.........

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........

   When god created china he knew he would never have to make anything else again.....

   Thinks it is amazing how a spider the size of my thumbnail can make a woman move faster then Bruce Lee on steroids and scream louder then a horror flick chick.....

   There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Ones who make things happen, ones who watch things happen, and ones who wondered what happened.....

   Wondering If I can get a clock that tells woman time. You know, "be back in a minute"=1-2hours. " be right there"=anywhere between 25 to 45 minutes. and of course the imfamous, "Lets just stop by and say hi."= 6hours plus. And last but not least, "just

   best friend....someone who walks in with a flashlight when life is the darkest....

   There are 3 kinds of people in the world. One is the solution to the problem, one is the problem, while the other is wondering what was the problem???

   If you can get one person to smile then your day was worth while.............

   Did 4000 eyelid lifts today.......I am tired. time for bed.

   got to the bottom of the mountain of laundry and found my favorite sock I thought the dryer ate. Raising both fists in the air and giving a Gladiatorial roar of victory I soon discovered I washed my wallet.....

   dear lady in the store yelling at your child, take a time out and comb the snakes in your hair, it is time for you to defeat the kraken

   Dear Captain Crunch. Your little squares are tasty little morsals of joy and happiness. But eating a pile of gravel from my yard would be less painfull. Please work on that.

   Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken

   Thought about staying home from work today but then I remembered the thousands of people on welfare are depending on me, I owe I owe its off to work I go.....