Funny Status Messages Search

X If you watch Godzilla backwards its about a dinosaur who passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-18-2011 09:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I'll take a Dirty Hammock."

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-19-2011 11:15 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this assh0le real quick.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-21-2012 14:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X It's too bad you can't punch someone's personality.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-21-2012 13:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X 'MAY' contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-25-2012 11:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I'm going to be too busy sitting on mine.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-24-2012 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I've found "the more the merrier" to be a dangerously inaccurate cliché.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-18-2011 09:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Facebook has become the girlfriend you no longer like but are scared to dump because you've invested so much time in the relationship.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-31-2012 10:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don't trust it. Everyone knows it's impossible to drive without eating the fries.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-23-2012 11:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-21-2012 13:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-03-2012 13:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X At the store & asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked them in the eyes and said, "Make it 52"

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-24-2012 10:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X People who bring their own bags to the grocery store always look like they're waiting for applause.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-10-2012 11:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-17-2012 11:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-15-2011 09:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-02-2011 11:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-21-2012 14:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I guess what I'm proudest of is my ability to make the tough choices in hypothetical situations.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-06-2011 11:32 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2012 10:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I should probably press charges on myself after the shower I just took.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-20-2012 16:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)