Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon A man in a bar sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He says to her, "nice legs." She says "you realy think so?" The man says "oh yeah, most tables would have collapsed by now."
←Rate | 11-21-2018 23:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who's Leah Verrrrr?
←Rate | 11-21-2018 23:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do saudis wear a pizza tablecloth on their heads?
←Rate | 11-21-2018 18:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For those who think that the media does nothing but report fake news, I dare you to eat the romaine lettuce. If you don't, then shut up!!!
←Rate | 11-21-2018 17:38 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Ha ha suckas....Pie and Cake are safer to eat than salad!
←Rate | 11-21-2018 17:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's that time of the year when stores play that rapey "Baby It's Cold Outside" song
←Rate | 11-21-2018 14:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think my dyslexia is getting whores......
←Rate | 11-21-2018 14:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm glad to see the "Be Best" campaign is working out so well.
←Rate | 11-21-2018 13:05 Comments (3)  

   messageicon when we’re done raking California can someone go to the white house and take the garbage out
←Rate | 11-21-2018 00:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is trump pardoning a turkey? Did it murder a journalist?
←Rate | 11-21-2018 00:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A train station is where trains stop. A bus station is where buses stop. At my desk at work I have a work station.
←Rate | 11-20-2018 21:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did Trump pardon himself today too? Or is there a 2 Turkey limit?
←Rate | 11-20-2018 18:57 Comments (5)  

   messageicon How does Leah Remini's face hold so much makeup?
←Rate | 11-20-2018 18:53 Comments (2)  

   messageicon "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."
←Rate | 11-20-2018 18:06 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Wild Turkey on the rocks helps to cope with your relatives on Thanksgiving.
←Rate | 11-20-2018 15:38 by Pilgrim Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanksgiving is a good time to give people the bird and tell them to stuff it. Happy Thanksgiving. :-)
←Rate | 11-20-2018 15:23 by Pilgrim Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always choose a proctologist with a good butt-side manner.
←Rate | 11-20-2018 14:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Q: When can women make you a millionaire? A: When you're a billionaire.
←Rate | 11-20-2018 13:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How incompetent do you have to be to listen to daddy rant about Hilary's emails for years & then go do the same damn thing yourself?
←Rate | 11-20-2018 11:35 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Thanksgiving is the only time a Califorian can see a natural breast.
←Rate | 11-20-2018 05:19 by Pilgrim Comments (2)  


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