Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I remember when I used to get nostalgic. Those were the days...
←Rate | 06-16-2019 15:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like this status if you're the type of person who likes to carry all your groceries into your house in one trip, but then realize at the front door you have so many bags in your hands you can't get the keys out of pocket.
←Rate | 06-16-2019 14:59 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Besides my good looks, honesty, charm, witty personality and my incredible sense of humor I have to say that my greatest characteristic is my modesty.
←Rate | 06-16-2019 14:29 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn! Even the NBA title left the U.S under the Trump administration.
←Rate | 06-16-2019 09:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place.
←Rate | 06-15-2019 15:07 by Moon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sarah Sanders says she hopes to be remembered for being "honest and transparent". Yeah, and Stormy Daniels will be remember for being a virgin...
←Rate | 06-15-2019 14:36 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place spirit.
←Rate | 06-15-2019 14:13 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Job well done Sarah now lets put Candace in and really make Libs cry
←Rate | 06-15-2019 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: Sarah Sanders resigns, goes back to lying for free
←Rate | 06-15-2019 07:46 by Fkthatorangefk Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't want to live anymore I'm going on vacation to Santo Domingo
←Rate | 06-14-2019 23:18 by Frankildefons Comments (0)  


   messageicon it OK to cut in front of someone wearing all Camouflage?
←Rate | 06-14-2019 18:21 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once in my life I'd like to finish a project as easily as they make it seem in the how to YouTube videos.
←Rate | 06-14-2019 11:49 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me no study, me no care, me go marry a millionaire. If he die, me no cry, me go marry another rich guy.
←Rate | 06-14-2019 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care who you are, accepting foreign campaign help is not A-OK!
←Rate | 06-14-2019 03:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a prince of whales? I hope he doesn't venture into Japanese waters.
←Rate | 06-13-2019 17:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you gets a link called 'free porn' don't open it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelchek and garblis up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont does porn so I dint opin it. Lil
←Rate | 06-13-2019 15:05 by @wiz_of_sarcasm Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word of advice guys. When a girl says "Awe thanks, that's so sweet of you" take a hint as what she's really trying to say is "Back to the friendzone with you!"
←Rate | 06-13-2019 11:36 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats on your recent weight loss! Now if only you could cardio your way to a better face
←Rate | 06-13-2019 10:02 by PongLenis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry this card’s a bit late, but I guess you used to think you showed up a bit late... like bad decisions and condoms. Congrats on your new baby!
←Rate | 06-13-2019 10:00 by PongLenis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, don't be getting your panties all in a bunch. The ones sold individually are much nicer.
←Rate | 06-13-2019 07:44 Comments (0)  



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