Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Trumps in WV tomorrow . lookout crybabies we dont play with ya here we love our country.
←Rate | 08-21-2018 11:04 Comments (1)  

   messageicon From the guys who brought you clean coal. Introducing healthy cigarettes!
←Rate | 08-21-2018 09:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whomever has my Voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks....I'm in public!
←Rate | 08-21-2018 03:08 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon Having a bad day?? You could be a siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and your the only one with an ass!
←Rate | 08-21-2018 02:55 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon Make acid rain great again.
←Rate | 08-21-2018 00:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The reason Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup are so popular is because they are the same basic ingredients as Pizza.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 20:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What are children born in a brothel called? Brothel sprouts.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 20:13 by Haha Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey ladies. Remember the 11th commandment, thor shall maketh me a sandwich! #MAGA
←Rate | 08-20-2018 18:37 Comments (9)  

   messageicon Gravity is also a 1iberal scam. How retarded it is to think there's a force pulling us down.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 18:06 by MAGA Comments (2)  

   messageicon Education is nothing but a 1iberal scam.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 16:00 by MAGA Comments (1)  

   messageicon Living alone is pretty cool, I don't even know if my bathroom door closes
←Rate | 08-20-2018 15:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd rather stay home and be bored out of my mind than interact with people
←Rate | 08-20-2018 15:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't "get even" or hold a grudge anymore, I take naps
←Rate | 08-20-2018 15:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Months of outrage about school shootings but when ISIS compound is discovered training kids to do more of them,no one cared.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 15:09 by MAGA Comments (9)  

   messageicon Cancer isn't cancer.
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Believing in equal rights for everybody (men and women), always willing to help people seeking help, believing in giving up some of your paycheck to insure people gets decent healthcare. Yep, 1iberism is horrible (rolling eyes back).
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:50 Comments (1)  

   messageicon "what did he say?" "Who is she?" "What just happened?" ( Repeat 30 times and you just watched a movie with my wife.)
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon Part Of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "don't listen to that guy... He's drunk."
←Rate | 08-20-2018 11:39 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm sure getting kicked in the balls is more painful than pregnancy. How many men do you hear say in 12 months, "I want another one!"
←Rate | 08-20-2018 08:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Space ISIS is coming after us!
←Rate | 08-20-2018 07:45 Comments (3)  


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