Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Girlfriend is a slut
←Rate | 05-26-2024 13:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know it's going to be a bad day when your imaginary friend files a restraining order on you.
←Rate | 05-26-2024 10:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon The police chief found Waldo dead in his apartment from a self-inflicted gun shot wound. Maybe instead of us asking "Where's Waldo?", we all should have been asking "How's Waldo?"
←Rate | 05-26-2024 07:44 by Jas Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please pray for my wife. Nothing is wrong with her. She's just married to me, and I am a lot.
←Rate | 05-25-2024 09:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon And yet again this morning No one was standing Next to my bed Saying Your Royal Highness here is your coffee.
←Rate | 05-24-2024 06:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon McDonald's is the only restaurant I know that repeats everything you said and still gives you the wrong order. 🙀
←Rate | 05-23-2024 05:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Arguing with me is pointless, I knew I was wrong 10 minutes ago. I'm just trying to make you mad now.
←Rate | 05-22-2024 05:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ex just texted me, "Wish you were here". She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.
←Rate | 05-21-2024 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dont like my eyes, they show me things I dont want to see.
←Rate | 05-20-2024 12:37 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  

   messageicon If life hands you lemons, go find a kid with a papercut and make his life miserable.
←Rate | 05-20-2024 06:49 by Jas Comments (0)  


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