Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Trumps in WV tomorrow . lookout crybabies we dont play with ya here we love our country.

   From the guys who brought you clean coal. Introducing healthy cigarettes!

   Whomever has my Voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks....I'm in public!

   Having a bad day?? You could be a siamese twin attached to a gay brother who has a date and your the only one with an ass!

   Make acid rain great again.

   The reason Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup are so popular is because they are the same basic ingredients as Pizza.

   What are children born in a brothel called? Brothel sprouts.

   Hey ladies. Remember the 11th commandment, thor shall maketh me a sandwich! #MAGA

   Gravity is also a 1iberal scam. How retarded it is to think there's a force pulling us down.

   Education is nothing but a 1iberal scam.

   Living alone is pretty cool, I don't even know if my bathroom door closes

   I'd rather stay home and be bored out of my mind than interact with people

   I don't "get even" or hold a grudge anymore, I take naps

   Months of outrage about school shootings but when ISIS compound is discovered training kids to do more of them,no one cared.

   Cancer isn't cancer.

   Believing in equal rights for everybody (men and women), always willing to help people seeking help, believing in giving up some of your paycheck to insure people gets decent healthcare. Yep, 1iberism is horrible (rolling eyes back).

   "what did he say?" "Who is she?" "What just happened?" ( Repeat 30 times and you just watched a movie with my wife.)

   Part Of me says I can't keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "don't listen to that guy... He's drunk."

   I'm sure getting kicked in the balls is more painful than pregnancy. How many men do you hear say in 12 months, "I want another one!"

   Space ISIS is coming after us!