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abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
←Rate | 02-16-2011 16:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Your profile said you had a body like an amusement park, but when I met you it looked more like a trailer park. what gives?
←Rate | 02-20-2011 18:41 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon If you shut off the Internet in the US, we'd overthrow the government within hours.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon My lady asked me if we could go out to somewhere expensive the other night, so I took her to the gas station.
←Rate | 03-11-2011 13:59 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)

   messageicon Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
←Rate | 02-12-2011 17:17 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Hey West Coast, it's the East Coast. We checked it out for you, and today isn't worth getting up for. Go ahead and sleep in.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:19 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.
←Rate | 02-27-2011 15:59 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:46 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)

   messageicon If you think I talk too much, let me know. We can talk about it.
←Rate | 03-09-2011 15:16 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Can't wait 'til I'm old enough to pretend I can't hear.
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:02 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.
←Rate | 02-28-2011 11:51 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 12:49 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)

   messageicon I've decided to get rid of my bad habits...just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
←Rate | 03-05-2011 21:34 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon It's amazing how much more money I have when I'm drunk.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 21:48 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 23:08 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 10:18 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, "I saw it" when they're done.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 20:26 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Note to self: Never make a sarcastic remark to someone who is really angry, unless you're prepared to run like hell.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 15:05 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.
←Rate | 03-06-2011 15:06 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

   messageicon I can no longer "drop it like it's hot", so I "squat like it's warm".
←Rate | 03-01-2011 20:14 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

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