Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon This black guy I work with says the N word about 73 times per day.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon August 16 tell a joke day and bratwurst day
←Rate | 08-15-2018 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon August 16 happy birthday Modonna
←Rate | 08-15-2018 15:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, I'm guessing communism is the new fad now?
←Rate | 08-15-2018 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It may be time to start exercising . Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying for the summit tomorrow.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 12:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the big deal? We've all used the N-word at least once in private. That doesn't make us rac1st.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 11:44 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Auto Repair Price List Ping-Ping-Ping 35.00 Plunk-Ping-Plunk 50.00 Klunk-Ping-Klunk 125.00 Thud-Klunk-Thud 200.00 Clank-Thud-Clank 325.00
←Rate | 08-15-2018 11:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Stress Doctor said I need to find a purpose but I can't get my wife to drive me to the aquarium..
←Rate | 08-15-2018 11:17 by Gerry Comments (0)  


   messageicon Terrorist attacks and fires in California and CNN is focused on Omarosa
←Rate | 08-15-2018 09:32 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Sarah F*ckabee Sanders apologizes over inaccurate information about African-American job numbers under Obama. Typical fat, lying whale!
←Rate | 08-15-2018 09:24 Comments (3)  


   messageicon "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember ... *thinking ?!? " Not Twain.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 07:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want me to go running with you I will need some motivation. Like a clown waving a bloody knife chasing after us.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Good people don't go into goverment." D.J.T.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 05:36 Comments (2)  


   messageicon You know that your wife's cooking is bad when dessert is Tum's chewables.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 02:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not the constant thought or fear of death that keeps me awake at night. It's usually grandma's Jalapeno flavored meatloaf!
←Rate | 08-14-2018 06:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 8/14 birthdays Magic Johnson 58 Steve Martin 72
←Rate | 08-13-2018 23:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If meterorologist are people who studies the weather. Are people who study meteors weatherologist?
←Rate | 08-13-2018 21:49 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon 8/14 Today is Creamsicle day, so enjoy one.
←Rate | 08-13-2018 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald alone in oval office. Hum hum.....hum hum hum hum hum....hum hum hum hum hum.....my space force.
←Rate | 08-13-2018 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon (8/13/18) Blue wave in 85 days
←Rate | 08-13-2018 19:06 Comments (3)  

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