Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Trump is always saying how his administration has done more than any other before. What a crock of sh*t.

   Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.

   Don't accept any friend requests from Taco Bell.. they're nacho friends

   Saudis admit Jamal Khashoggi died during interrogation. Now, what was Trump's ridiculous version on how he died again?

   I'm totally serious. I rather be a Nazi than a Dem0cat.

   Why were there flaming nazi symbols in Draketown, Georgia? Do you people realize this is 2018?

   Having some memory problems? Should we call for a doctor?

   Using my feet to lift toilet seats or push the flush handle at public restrooms has helped hone my ninja like skills.

   Did I like just dummy another to it show retard a like this read to trying time sweet Ur took you since.

   What's all this fuss about gay rights? I'm pretty sure there are a lot more gay lefts out there...

   When the wise men points to capitalism and the environment, the fool looks at the veiled woman.

   Ice bank mice elf.. say it real fast 10X

   I guess Elizabeth Warren has some native America ancestry after all. I guess it's time to start the eating of the crow.

   "If only baby boomers were as scared of global warming as Mauslims .." -Eric Miguel

   I can't believe that Ariana and Pete broke up! And also that worldwide climate catastrophe is imminent!

   . What is the difference between a dyke and a cell phone?.......... A cell phone has voice mail, and a dyke has a male voice.

   The weather temperature when from 90 to 55 like it saw a State Trooper.

   Life consists of avoiding people you have seen naked, while trying to find new people to see naked?

   If you leave a cupcake out long enough, it just becomes a cookie

   Autocorrect can be your best friend or your worst enema.