Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
«Previous
1
Page: 1 of 5817

   messageicon Trump is always saying how his administration has done more than any other before. What a crock of sh*t.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 22:30 by IDTN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did Adam and Eve have the perfect marriage?..... Because neither one of them had a mother in-law.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 22:12 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't accept any friend requests from Taco Bell.. they're nacho friends
←Rate | 10-15-2018 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saudis admit Jamal Khashoggi died during interrogation. Now, what was Trump's ridiculous version on how he died again?
←Rate | 10-15-2018 18:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm totally serious. I rather be a Nazi than a Dem0cat.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 18:27 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why were there flaming nazi symbols in Draketown, Georgia? Do you people realize this is 2018?
←Rate | 10-15-2018 17:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having some memory problems? Should we call for a doctor?
←Rate | 10-15-2018 15:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Using my feet to lift toilet seats or push the flush handle at public restrooms has helped hone my ninja like skills.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did I like just dummy another to it show retard a like this read to trying time sweet Ur took you since.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 14:32 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's all this fuss about gay rights? I'm pretty sure there are a lot more gay lefts out there...
←Rate | 10-15-2018 13:51 by troy Comments (1)  


   messageicon When the wise men points to capitalism and the environment, the fool looks at the veiled woman.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ice bank mice elf.. say it real fast 10X
←Rate | 10-15-2018 12:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess Elizabeth Warren has some native America ancestry after all. I guess it's time to start the eating of the crow.
←Rate | 10-15-2018 11:42 Comments (4)  


   messageicon "If only baby boomers were as scared of global warming as Mauslims .." -Eric Miguel
←Rate | 10-15-2018 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe that Ariana and Pete broke up! And also that worldwide climate catastrophe is imminent!
←Rate | 10-15-2018 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon . What is the difference between a dyke and a cell phone?.......... A cell phone has voice mail, and a dyke has a male voice.
←Rate | 10-14-2018 21:39 by Haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The weather temperature when from 90 to 55 like it saw a State Trooper.
←Rate | 10-14-2018 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life consists of avoiding people you have seen naked, while trying to find new people to see naked?
←Rate | 10-14-2018 08:57 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you leave a cupcake out long enough, it just becomes a cookie
←Rate | 10-14-2018 02:40 by Drew Comments (0)  


   messageicon Autocorrect can be your best friend or your worst enema.
←Rate | 10-13-2018 22:54 by @Auggie58 Comments (0)  



«Previous
1

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left