Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   This black guy I work with says the N word about 73 times per day.

   August 16 tell a joke day and bratwurst day

   August 16 happy birthday Modonna

   So, I'm guessing communism is the new fad now?

   It may be time to start exercising . Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying for the summit tomorrow.

   What's the big deal? We've all used the N-word at least once in private. That doesn't make us rac1st.

   Auto Repair Price List Ping-Ping-Ping 35.00 Plunk-Ping-Plunk 50.00 Klunk-Ping-Klunk 125.00 Thud-Klunk-Thud 200.00 Clank-Thud-Clank 325.00

   My Stress Doctor said I need to find a purpose but I can't get my wife to drive me to the aquarium..

   Terrorist attacks and fires in California and CNN is focused on Omarosa

   Sarah F*ckabee Sanders apologizes over inaccurate information about African-American job numbers under Obama. Typical fat, lying whale!

   "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember ... *thinking ?!? " Not Twain.

   If you want me to go running with you I will need some motivation. Like a clown waving a bloody knife chasing after us.

   "Good people don't go into goverment." D.J.T.

   You know that your wife's cooking is bad when dessert is Tum's chewables.

   It's not the constant thought or fear of death that keeps me awake at night. It's usually grandma's Jalapeno flavored meatloaf!

   8/14 birthdays Magic Johnson 58 Steve Martin 72

   If meterorologist are people who studies the weather. Are people who study meteors weatherologist?

   8/14 Today is Creamsicle day, so enjoy one.

   Donald alone in oval office. Hum hum.....hum hum hum hum hum....hum hum hum hum hum.....my space force.

   (8/13/18) Blue wave in 85 days