kelso Funny Status Messages

   Things in my life are finally starting to click...... Like my elbows, my knees, my feet,etc;

   I am thinking people with Bulimia like KFC because it comes with a bucket!

   I searched Google, Bing and Yahoo on the word Impotence and nothing came up?

   Impotence: Natures way of saying "No Hard Feelings!"

   So I got a handjob from this Blind woman the other day and she proceeds to tell me I have the biggest shaft she's ever felt. I then told her, "You're pulling my leg!"

   It just dawned on me that Flo from the Progressive commercials is somebody's Aunt.....

   Holy Water Recipe: Boil the "Hell" out of it!!

   I hear drinking wet cement can get you really stoned!!

   When two Egotists meet, it's always an I for an I

   I lost my Viagara down the toilet....Now I have hard water!

   I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I am over it now.

   I just thought of a quick way to spot a woman who is having that time of the month attitude problem! I call it the "Eye Pad!"

   I had an Aquarium store once, It tanked though....

   Did you hear about the circus fire? It was In-Tents!!