Mduduzi Funny Status Messages

     You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

   According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.

   Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible

   I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into her again.

     The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably generally they are the same people.

   If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.

   5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

   Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

   The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

     When they say "instant credit," they actually mean "instant debt"!

   Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye.

   Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

   Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.

   Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world

   Stop telling me to stop drinking; even the bible says He brews.

   Avoid being late, just don't show up!

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   just passed an INCOMPETENCE test with flying colors!

   Be careful when someone wants to take you to ANOTHER LEVEL, I listened to that and now I am in another level, but much lower than I was before!

   I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.