Jerry Funny Status Messages

   A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

   Wow, as it turns out you're supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sending a big SORRY out to that lady at the Waffle House from this morning. I was just trying to help!

   Programmed a random destination into my GPS this morning, and just drove all around today making her recalculate my route. I suspect vulgarity soon, or she'll just stop talking to me.

   Someone needs to brew a great beer and call it “Roses”! That way when you show up at your ladies door with a card and a dozen roses, you know at least you're going to have a great time!

   Thinking about opening a lingerie shop for plus size women ....... Gonna call it KING THONG