Imsofunny Funny Status Messages

   When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his junk and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows new junk. If that isn't the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves I don't know what is.

   Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.

   My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.

   The Olympians stories are amazing.. The ukrainian whose whole family was killed, the korean who escaped slavery, the american who never had wifi.

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get... You're already hard to want.

   Does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won't share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding... I have no clue whose kid this is.

   A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it.

   If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom why did you put your window at the same height as my ladder?

   All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.

   Every taco bell value meal should be called a number 2

   If your boyfriend can't bench press you then you have a girlfriend.

   I named my dìck truth, because bìtchès can't handle it.

   Change your wifi password to blowmefirst, then wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.

   You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.

   It's so cold out I just saw a white person wearing tube socks with their shorts.

   I can't wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high on Ebay.

   Girl you should sell hot dogs, because you know how to make a wiener stand.

   Would the real #imsofunny please stand up?