Charles323 Funny Status Messages
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while I drink my coffee, I oftentimes stare out the window and ask myself: Am I attractive enough to prostitute?
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told the dog it is weird that he follows me into the bathroom all the time. So he walked out. Now I'm weirded out that he speaks English.
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believes insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it. ツ
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told the dog it is weird that he follows me into the bathroom all the time. So he walked out. Now I'm weirded out that he understands English.
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NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
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finally came out of the closet and told my family I'm white. It took a lot of courage on my part, but I felt it was time they understood why I can't jump or dance.
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just passed a holiday cocaine drug bust. It looks like some people are gonna be denied a white Christmas this year.
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thought he saw a ninja while driving home today - turned out to be just a light pole...or was it?
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thinks any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn't convenient at all.
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thinks the best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have.
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wonders why - while changing your clothes at the YMCA - old men have to flaunt and swing their wrinkled junk around? Its like they're trying to prove their manhood or attempting to iron out the wrinkles, I'm not sure.
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“I knew you'd be back.” -The Drawing Board
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Allergy alert: This status may contain peanuts.
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wonders if shaving one's head make one truly aerodynamic and thereby fuel efficient? And - can I claim that as a deduction on my taxes?
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a member of the Jehovah's Witness protection program.
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knows the world cannot end in 2012, because my GNC protein bars expire in 02/2013
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wonders how a fine is justified as a predetermined tax for doing something wrong, and yet taxation is accepted as a fine for doing well?
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loves how Christmas movies capture the holidays in a way everyone typically experiences. In two hours: greedy men become charitable; enemies settle their differences; women fall in love with the unattractive nerd; and an angel get its wings.
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was surprised to receive a compliment about his VW Jetta today - especially at a Mazda/GM car dealership. The salesman said: "Well German engineering, you can't go wrong. I just can't believe they killed so many Jews. You have a Merry Christmas."
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