Aerotim Funny Status Messages

   I love dieting I'm actually on 4 diets: Chinese, American, Italian and Mexican.

   Me and my recliner go way back.

   We all have faults. It's just that mine are better than yours.

   I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.

   A cop pulled me over and was going to give me a ticket for talking on the phone and driving. I told him he couldn't do that because it was my wife and I was just listening.

   I'm not trying to brag but I can wear the same size socks today that I did in high school.

   Trust you?! Pssstt. I still count my money when it comes out of an ATM.

   Learn to fight like your the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!

   How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?

   I'm as broke as a pick pocket in a nudist colony.

   Leaving out one letter can cost you thousands of dollars in legal fees: "Doll I'm having a blast in Las Vegas, wish you were her."

   Some mornings you just can't smell enough coffee. ☕️

   . Don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes. Just saying