BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I'm so tired of wanting the people who don't want me.

   Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry. 

   Laughter is not the best medicine...Large amounts of beer, now that's the best medicine!

   A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

   By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

   After I die, I want someone to periodically log in as me so it looks like I'm haunting Facebook.

   McDonald’s should have an express drive thru lane just for people who need french fries.

   I hate it when people say " you need your beaut sleep" damn B**ch, you need to hibernate!

   Reasons why I'm still single: ✔ can't date the internet. ✔ can't date my favorite celebrity. ✔ can't date Facebook. ✔ can't date myself..

   There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S. Not counting your ex.

   After last night's drunken escapades, I'd think my friends should have had better judgement than to be friends with me.

   I must say you really have an open mind. And a mouth to match

   Bored? Send a text message to a random number saying: "Im Pregnant

   I'm worried about my bed. It looks really lonely. I'd better give it a few extra hours of cuddling today

   When you love someone you take interest in their interests or at least pretend to.

   Little known fact… NASA put a man on the moon with less computer memory than you use when taking a picture on your iPhone.

   Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but it’s more difficult to regret.

   The two favorite buttons I LOVE on Facebook: "Hide all posts from this person" and "Hide friend request".

   Dear Trash, At least you get picked up...Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

   New STD called, FEELINGS. Dont catch that s&it.