BEGO Funny Status Messages

   We live in a time period of smart phones and stupid people.

   A rejected highfive is one of the biggest insults there is.

   The nicer you are, the easier it is for you to get hurt

   *Texts girlfriend* Wats up baby!!! ;) *Doesn't reply for 5 hours* BI&CH YOU BETTER BE WRITING ME A FUC&ING BOOK!

   Dear People of The World, I don’t mean to sound slutty but use me whenever you want. Sincerely, Proper Grammar.

   Get a big metal box, label it "TIME CAPSULE" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2012 was like.

   What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? “Must be an earthquake.”

   Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.

   I let my girlfriend wear the pants in our relationship, but it's me that decides when they come off!

   Non-Smoker - I hate cigarettes...!Smoker - Me too , thats why I am burning it. ! !

   s funny how I'm good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to helping myself, I don't know what to do

   I don't think I've ever been told I'm a bad listener.

   I met a woman who told me she wanted to walk a mile in my shoes. I guess she liked them because that was three weeks ago and I haven't seen her since.

   Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

   You know a girl is serious when they say your name in a text.

   Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all equally valid, but one thing breaks the tie in favor of Christianity: grilled cheese with bacon.

   EX means: Thanks for the EXperience, Our time has EXpired, now EXit my life..

   There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.

   In the beginning of a relationship the men go into it thinking this might be fun...and the women go into it thinking this might be the one.

   Respect is earned, Honesty is appreciated, Love is gained and Loyalty is returned.