love Funny Status Messages

   i love when rich people compliment me on things that I spent less than $5 on

   Dear pretty girls in my classes, You have significantly improved my attendance. Keep doing what you do. Much love, The brunette guy you keep catching staring at you.

   I love Kit-Kat...unless I'm with four or more people.

   Dear coworker who just microwaved hobo feet for lunch,,,, We hate you.. Love Stanley

   I love that part of a healthy relationship where you realize what a psychopath your ex was.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back.....sell all their crap on Craigslist.

   Women are like puppies, if you hang around 1 for too long, eventually you'll bring it home & it will poop on everything you love.

   Love pshhhh I rather fall in chocolate

   I love going places just to spend the entire time taking my kids to the bathroom

   F'king love Sundays... Or any other day that's not Mon-Fri.

   Let me win your love so I can earn your hatred.

   I spread you before I eat you, I use my tounge to get you off, sometimes I lick your nuts.....mmmmm I love peanut butter

   i love gummy bears cuz they dont attack when you chew their heads off

   I love my UPS guy. He's a drug dealer and doesn't even know it.

   God may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding..,.God thinks you suck also.

   My coworker is making love to her lunch, or at least that's what it sounds like.

   I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.

   when love is in the air I put on my gas mask.

   Love is blind but hate has perfect 20/20 vision.

   I don't think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.