love Funny Status Messages

   Dear coworker who just microwaved hobo feet for lunch,,,, We hate you.. Love Stanley

   I love that part of a healthy relationship where you realize what a psychopath your ex was.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back.....sell all their crap on Craigslist.

   Women are like puppies, if you hang around 1 for too long, eventually you'll bring it home & it will poop on everything you love.

   Dear pretty girls in my classes, You have significantly improved my attendance. Keep doing what you do. Much love, The brunette guy you keep catching staring at you.

   I wish I loved anything as much as some of you love to criticize & attack each other.

   i love when rich people compliment me on things that I spent less than $5 on

   F'king love Sundays... Or any other day that's not Mon-Fri.

   Let me win your love so I can earn your hatred.

   I love going places just to spend the entire time taking my kids to the bathroom

   Love pshhhh I rather fall in chocolate

   I spread you before I eat you, I use my tounge to get you off, sometimes I lick your nuts.....mmmmm I love peanut butter

   i love gummy bears cuz they dont attack when you chew their heads off

   I love my UPS guy. He's a drug dealer and doesn't even know it.

   God may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding..,.God thinks you suck also.

   My coworker is making love to her lunch, or at least that's what it sounds like.

   I like to play "Rodeo Cowboy" with my girlfriend. Whenever we're making love and I'm behind her, I call her by a different name and see how long I can hold on.

   when love is in the air I put on my gas mask.

   Love is blind but hate has perfect 20/20 vision.

   I don't think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.