bego Funny Status Messages

   Before Facebook we all had to lie about how happy we are in person.

   Whoever said “he’s only a dog” obviously never owned a dog.

   When I was little, I wanted to be a UPS man when I grew up because they get to drive around all day with no doors. Now I'm really glad my car has doors.

   Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985

   Ghetto counting: 1) Wahh. 2) Two. 3) Three. 4) Foe. 5) Fieee. 6) Sih. 7) Selm. 8) Ate. 9) Naa. 10) Teh. 11) Lem. 12) Twehh.

   Telling a girl to "calm down" is like trying to baptize a cat.

   It takes two people to fall in love + one to wreck it.

   Sometimes I see people and think, "Is your face supposed to be like that?"

   It's only a matter of time until The Homeless start accepting Credit Cards.

   If swimming would just add one shark, I would watch it more than football.

   Kids today.. I swear they just cant figure shi& out on their own. Its like they need a you tube video to show them how to wipe their As%

   Todays my Grandmas birthday, but she doesnt have a cell phone for me to text or a facebook wall for me to write on, what do I do?

   If I still reply to your one word text messages you're special.

   Say it to my face, not through your status.

   Just when you think your day can't get any worse, someone pokes you on Facebook

   The very first photo uploaded to Facebook was a cartoon cat. The second one was probably a duck-face girl.

   The best thing about Facebook is that someone can disappear as quickly as they appeared!

   During a breakup, women need tissues for tears... men also need tissues, but for a different reason.

   Whenever I meetr somebody who has a kid, they have to show me a photo of their kid. But then when I show them a photo of me to show to their kid, I am weird.

   I hate the people that cover up their answers, Like c'mon.. Lets work together bro..