love Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes love comes like a dream and leaves like a nightmare.

   I am so overwhelmed by the birthday love, and SO underwhelmed by the birthday gifts!!!!

   It is said that the first step to solving the problem of an addict!on is the verbal admission of the issue itself. Okay then: I love n@ked women.

   My Mom is made entirely of flaws,, Stitched together with good intentions and a pantload of love....Love you Ma.

   We tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is it's not our loss, it's theirs. They left the one person in the world who would never give up on them.

   Loyal women will love you while you're broke; a ho will love you till you're broke

   Just once I would love to get a junk email that read..."P*nis englargment?? No way dude! You are set! Forget I even sent this message." Is that too much to ask???

   our lives are shaped by those who love us, and by those who refuse to love us

   I love food samples. I hate the whole routine that comes after: pick up the product, nod, all while having no intention of buying it.

   I wish I loved anything as much as New Yorkers love to tell you they're from New York.

   I don't like Hot Pockets at all. But I imagine that people who like scalding the roof of their mouths while getting diarrhea all in the same day probably love them.

   Love is just a misunderstanding between two fools

   I hate it when you finally fall in love & your girlfriend's all "Who are you? Put down my dog. I'm calling the police."

   My Love Life is currently like NCAA mens Basketball, Its down to the FINAL FOUR! But My Wife has the homecourt Advantage!

   Love Coco Puffs. Hate Popo Cuffs.

   I got "I love you.", tattooed on my penis... my girlfriend said "Quit trying to put words in my mouth!".

   When you meet someone online & you fall in love is that considered love & first site?

   Commercial idea : shaq in front of a mirror singing "love shaq, baby love shaq" into a hairbrush

   Please, always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   My new GF: "Wow, look at all this beer you have in your fridge. You must love to drink." Me: "No, I just hate to run out of beer."