eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages

   When things in your life don't add up, use math. It solves problems!

   Paula Deen just got chopped!

   Santa is the original Voyager!

   Breaking news the 5th Dentist caved and now 5 out 5 recommend trident gum!!!!!!!!

   I had a serious talk with my crew supervisor today, because nobody showed up for work. I told him we needed to let ONE go not JUAN...

   E-Harmony: Dislikes: "Women who shoot their gun sideways!!"

   I was tickling a toad on his right flipper! Frog giggles amuse me!

   OMG! I just had a full grown GOOSE poop on my windshield! Looks like I just got egged. Go back to Canada!

   Got in a fight. You should see the other guys....they are perfectly fine.

   My family is from so far out in the country that my mammy doesn't know she is free. No one will tell her b/c her cornbread off the hook.

   I miss being able to hang up rotary phone on people!

   You smell like you passed through the system of a 90 year old!

   Texting angry....All CAPPS!!

   My father was a professional wrestler. He hit us but did not hit us!!

   I don't get this hole poking thing.

   Yesterday it was fish, shrimp, and crabs. Tonight I'm just fishing for compliments.

   I am most like a mushroom. I am a fungi!

   My son's Parrot just tweeted about his current living conditions!

   OUCH!!! I just got bit by a Horse Fly with an over bite!!

   Made it through Irene's rain band. They could use a new lead singer and a drummer.