BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!

   I wonder what the person I`m going to marry is doing right now

   Every guy thinks catching the girl he loves is an amazing accomplishment. Actually, catching the girl is the easy part, keeping her is the real damn accomplishment.

   Facebook needs a “Drama of the day” section in my news feed. 

   Sometimes love is like having one too many drinks....you feel so good that you don't notice you're making a fool of yourself.

   Best friends have Conversations impossible to understand by other people…

   Don't be sad because someone gave up on you. Feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would never give up on them.

   I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I'd like whipped cream on it.

   Technology is creating all kinds of new psychological problems. Losing a cell phone can put almost anyone into a panic attack, followed shortly by separation anxiety disorder.

   FACT: Friendships with coworkers are based on a mutual hatred for your jobs

   You haven't truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”

   There are worse things than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. You could wake up on the right side of the bed with the wrong person.

   So they pay $1 million for commercials of starving kids but they can't feed them?

   Overprotective parents raise the best liars.

   How embarrassing would it be if Facebook automatically updated statuses to what you where doing. “Billy is alone in his room.”

   Ghetto pronunciation: Bathroom = Baafrumm, Refrigerator = Fridgerataa, Remote = Moken Troll.

   Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you? There's an damn App for that. It's called "respect".

   You don't have to like me. I'm not a facebook status.

   We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.

   The biggest mistake I have made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve..