Funny Status Messages

   You mean didn't exist I assume.. You're correct.

   This fish I got from the fisherman is off the hook.

   I don’t want to marry Bill Gates because he’s rich. I want to marry Bill Gates so I never have to fix my own computer.

   spiraling out of control, anyone need anything?

   Some people identify as non-binary. That means there are two categories: Binary and non-binary. Therefore, even if you identify as non-binary, you're still binary.

   calculating the square root of tomorrow

   Some days you're the turd; some days you're the fly. I'm both every day. - Joe Biden

   I sent wait for the devil to take the souls of the ones who believes in taking an oath to God, but applauding when the GOP blatantly lies in order to protect someone.

   I just spilled some water on my bed...boom, waterbed.

   honey, I gained some weight...now call me Mr. flintsone I can make your bed rock.

   it ok 2 break up wid a girl if she forcibly makes you watch one of dose stupid twilight movies???

   Ok...tryin to loose weight... I went to the doctor this mornin. He ask.. How's your diet? I said I've been eating apples, bananas, oranges . Then he asked... "have you seen a skinny gorilla," I said FU!!

   As promised to Obama, Indians are creating jobs for americans. First recruit is Pamela anderson in Big Boss Season 4 ( Paid whooping USD 10 M per day for 3 days)

   I saw the Dow plunged yesterday due to the debt in Greece.. So I thought to myself...Maybe the Greeks wouldn't be so broke if they would just stop having those big fat weddings...Just sayin..

   they put on $100 and still are proud to swipe their foodstamp why cant they get a job?

   when the river runs red, take the dirt road...

   So far this year, my hindsight is only 20/10.

   thinks the world should revolve around him since his dad calls him son.

   The best way to make people remember you?Borrow money from them.

   wanted a motorcycle when he left school, but his mother said no. She had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18..... So she said I could just have his.