Funny Status Messages
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On acid, strobe light going, Slayer cranked, "The Exorcist" on mute, Misfits face paint, erect, playing Ouija, naked w/ a knife. Come over! 
Obama is like my girlfriend, always late...
How much for the phone charger? Sir, that's a nuclear power plant.
If a baby comes out with an Afro, is that considered Natural child birth?
University of Kentucky 2012 Win, Philadelphia Philies World Series Win, Seattle’s Superball Win, when whites went buck wild for the most arbitrary and utterly unjustifiable reasons on earth.
she is a "case worker". You'd need to drink a case before you work her.
lost a game of Scrabble last night. I couldn't believe it. I was lost for words.
when the snowboarders are finished with their runs, do they go back to the Olympic Village and look for BC Bud?
Lord Voldemort is pure evil. He turned Cedric Diggory into Edward Cullen!
real men don`t wear pink , it ain`t big and it ain`t clever.
i can ride my bike with no handlebars no handlebars no handle *crashes*
does find it very funny that on the news they have immigrants who want to vote Tory !! just like turkeys voting for christmas ... they might aswell vote BNP !! buy hey , at least they won`t have to pay a higher tax rate !!
south africa is the only country that will host a world even in a sport they cant play
If I kick his sister in the jaw, will that circumcise a hillbilly?
do you really want Miracle Water made by Rev. Peter Popoff.com
can ride a bike with no handlebars
I met Mr. Cadbury on Quality Street at Bournville, close to Mars in this Galaxy, the Milky Way. It was After Eight, on a Double Decker, I was feeling the Crunch as I was Bounty hunting for Kit-Kat. My stop was next, Toblerone.
would rather check her facebook than face her checkbook
if it wasnt for bad luck, i'd have no luck at all!!!
нαρρу ωσмєиѕ ∂αу тσ υѕ gяσωи вєαυтιfυℓ ωσмєи!!! :D ♡ 