Funny Status Messages
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Dont let the ladies fool you cuz deep down they know they need us men...If not for the orgygasims then at least for are ability too kill spiders and open jars... 
And who replied to this you are an amazing animal. evryone knows that.
People say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but Steve Apple doesn't support Flash.
"Please, consider giving your time to help those in need." ...Ok, done. Wow, what a bunch of whiners, that was so easy. NEXT PROBLEM.
man its' boring in the office... okay everyone I have an idea: let's just take off our pants at 13 o'clock simultaneously... this should spice things up.
Who needs love when you've got a gun?
"The people of Libya love me, except the ones given hallucinogenic drugs by Al Qaeda...Duh, WINNING!" ~Muammar Gaddafisteen~
G.T.I.....Gym, Tan, I'm not buying it!
I love living in a big city!! There are sooo many more people to yell at!!
Moms are really very clever!! within the first 10 minutes of visitng her, she read my mind better than I ever read it myself! I could never be a real man just like my own mother.. love you mom!! :-)
it's going to be cold today, Nips don't lie. - update from Shakira
thinking green so I'm gonna save some electricity and unplug my refrigerator then leave its contents outside
told his mum that the screaming coming from the tv was in fact tennis players grunting when hitting the ball...Don't think she fell for it!
O.J wants to move to Florida. Florida doesn't want him. He can move in with me, think of all the publicity I'll get. . .
I've just realized that this growing old thing , ain't for woossies
The so called bullied became the bullies and are now bullying America because of one bully? What's next groping?
Did Lindsay Lohan Convert to Islam? If so she could assemble her suicide vest from all of those horrible movies she has made over her career.. Bombs.. get it..
The real women's march takes place in New England when the Patriots take the field.
Assume that anyone who is undecided at this point is trying to choose between Hillary and suicide.
There are still areas in the Middle East without peace and where women don’t have equal rights. I was certain Jared and Ivanka would have fixed that by now. 