Funny Status Messages
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No you are mistaken my ignorant friend. I am in Africa right now and we are NOT buried in any orange clothing. Who dresses in orange? Even us have standards. 
You know why nobody has gotten a GPS location on Obamas cell phone to take him out. Because he has several million citizens under his plan so you'd miss every time. . .
What's the difference between agal who shops at Walmart and a bowling ball? If you had to you'd could eat the bowling ball...
Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart
I just went to that God wants you to know app.. It said, "Nothing" :-/
heard someone say there is a .45 cent concert going to be held this weekend on national tv...it will be 50 cent, featuring Nickleback.....
Trump is basically King Solomon, but stupid. He can’t think of a solution to the country’s problems, so he just divided it in two.
Might fornicate around and use a thesaurus
Old Age comes at a really bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.
So, if you are crediting a woman for something, and treating them equally, you might be a idiot 1ibera1.
I met a cougar online. She said she still turns heads at her age. She was right. When we hooked up, my head did a 360 and I started vomiting green pea soup.
Shoved my cat in the garbage disposal and accidentally wrote the new Skrillex album.
watching paint dry
. just like Ty-D-Bol, the blue wave will wash all the crap away.
Inflation has gotten so bad, the 7-Eleven changed its name to the 9-Thirteen.
wondering what the hell Jesus ever did for Santa on his Birthday?
watching the origin of the KKK on the history channel...take a stand and join the klan? that doesnt even rhyme...YA RETARDS.
All gas station bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the “Saw” movies.
BUDLIGHT's new promotion, Free knee pads with every purchase!
A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all of your keys at the same time. 