Funny Status Messages
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Why haven't we seen a photo of Rep. Weiner's backside? Can't have a wiener without a bun.......Right?? 
when a woman ask "what did you say?", she heard it but she is giving you a 2nd change to say it right
Hears that the youth in Asia are in mourning after the death of Dr Kevorkian
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
'm so afraid to tweet. What if ankle X-ray gets in hands of unintended recipient like dermatologist? Do I resign? And if so, from what?
There are so many better reasons to riot other than hockey... like a shoe sale!
Life is all about ideas and who has the better one..
My girl is sweet...I am now a member of her BENEFITS program...!!!!
Just told my girlfriend to call me before she heads home so I will have time to get the beer, smoke and strippers out of here and she "thins" I was joking.
instead of supporting the stop snitching movement, some people need to support the stop doing dumb sh*t to get arrested movement.
I'm not sayin she's the fattest girl I've ever seen but if I had to name the top 5, shed be the first 3..
I tried to change my password to PE-NIS but the computer said it wasn't long enough
Miss the days when rappers used to rap about real sh*t, now they rap about candy likes its gangsta to eat a lollipop.
You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.
my status is just an another update on the wall !
i didn't know Jonah Hill was gonna be on Dancing with the Stars ...this should be interesting.
Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.,,
Facebook should a "More than Friends" Request button or basically a "F#@K Buddy" request!
That automatic "via" message changed this week..... Just my way of quietly telling Apple to f*ck off!
infomercials have taught me that no one can do anything right if its done in black and white. Do things in color, problem solved. 