BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Sure you could complain there's another Twilight movie out right now. OR you could celebrate that there'll never be another.

   Women spend too much money on stuff to look pretty...save your cash, buy him beer.

   That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!

   Life isn't about net worth. It's about self worth.

   Boobs are like the sun. Ok to look, but dangerous to stare. But that's what sunglasses are for.

   You should like yourself because that is the only person you have to spend the rest of your life with.

   When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume

   If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!

   Dear clear high heels, Thank you for helping me figure out who's a stripper and who's not.

   I'm not a stalker I'm just bad with goodbyes

   My ex has a new boyfriend and I’m glad. I mean I want her to be happy. As long as I’m happier and she knows that.

   I remember in 1st grade, if you were the line leader you were the s$it!

   I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!

   Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!

   That moment when you realize you can’t ignore someones message on Facebook anymore because it shows that you’ve read it.

   he original Nintendo is proof that better graphics doesn’t mean a better game.

   When somebody sends me a "k" text, I assume they forgot the rest of "fuc_ you", so I make sure to correct them.

   Nickelodeon should just stop making new shows and replay all the old ones

   The absolute best way to get revenge is to sit back and watch while people destroy their own lives just by being themselves.

   I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.