aNGELA Funny Status Messages

   Chuch Norris once round house kicked a guy in the head so fast that his foot travled back in time and hit Amelia airheart in the face causing her to crash, and that's why they never found her

   Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable

   Alcohol your like my abusive boyfriend, no matter how bad you kick my ass, I always go back to you the next day:)

   Are both your parents retarded? Because you seem very special?

   I was given 4 E's and LSD last night… Such an awful start to a game of scrabble.

   I wonder what comes out when you vomit in a brita filter

   aim for the moon, if you miss youll be among the stars"..then pressure & lack of o2 will make your as@hole explode out of your nostrils.

   What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can both smell it, but can't eat it!

   I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth

   My mom used to say I'm wasting my life playing video games. Then I thought "no sweat, I've got 2 more lives."

   Wanna know why god invented the womens belly button? So you have a place to put your gum on the way down!

   says Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back!

   going to church does not make you religious anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger

   Excellent time to become a missing person.

   Don't follow my footsteps I run into walls!

   You can't spell "culture" without "cult".

   Just plead the Fifth -- or drink it -- either way.

   says 'gardening' is what it's called when adults want to play in the dirt!

   Time is never wasted when your wasted all the time!!

   DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK.