Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   March Madness??? Heck, I'm Crazy All Year!!!

   saw a vegetarian eating a banana. I asked her how would she like it if her skin was ripped off and she was eaten alive.

   Finally met the new neighbor. An uncanny resemblance to Satan!! Maybe that's why it's been so hot...

   Just heard Yoga Pants are being re-designed to be less revealing. I'll be keeping an eye on that.

   I LOVE my job!! Especially the part when I clock out and leave!!!

   wondering why the need to pee intensifies by a million when you're trying to unlock the door?

   My toenails taste different. Hope I'm not sick...

   I hate to go out drinking with unicorns, they use the old "no pockets" excuse to stick me with the bill.

   I don't care what time it is!!! Grilling without a BEER is like going to church and not PRAYING.

   I'll check again but i'm pretty sure I could care less that Brad and Angelina are getting married...

   gonna take the Christmas lights down...

   If you own a dog you know... The Look...

   This outbreak of storms is like p or n to the meteorologist's!!!

   We all spend that extra minute or two brushing on the day of your dentist appointment...

   haven't been this hungover since yesterday

   How do I stay fit and healthy? By drinking vodka and pushing kids off bikes.

   Don't know about you but i'm turning MY clock back to 1980!!!

   Can't believe i've made it all week without stabbing anyone in the neck with a pencil...

   On a scale of Gary Busey to Charlie Sheen, I'm David Hasselhoff drunk right now.

   wondering why you never see, "My resolution is to eat more fried foods, drink every day, oh!!! And take up smoking too!!!