Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   BONG: what you put the flowers in when then cops drive by. lol

   I still stop conversations to join in for that "Hey! Must be the money!" part of the song.

   I just went on a Facebook poking spree.

   you know your getting old when respond to you with, "Really! At your age?!?"

   Dear A+. You are the most beautiful grade of them all... Thank you for visiting... Please hang out with me more often... We belong together... I will never tire of looking at you...

   ....and now the sequence of events in no particular order

   wants a shag in front of the fire and one night stand, better head to Ikea

   "Porn Actor Kills Colleague With Prop Weapon." It was apparently not a banana in his pocket, nor was he happy to see him.

   I asked my co-worker if he think he's going to Heaven. He said, "Hell yea!"......

   Never think of the past it brings tears, If you think of the future it brings fears, so live life in the present & drink chilled BEERS Bon Okterber Fest

   what it's all about... TAKE THAT HOKIE POKIE!

   I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him.....

   You can't get greater in life if your still tryin to get even.

   who said that men can't multitask. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time.

   burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef

   Send me your FarmVille invitation... So, I can have it foreclosed and evicted by the end of the day.

   will give you advice now. If you are shopping for a gift for a child, do not buy Moon Sand. It doesn't matter if it costs $19.95 and comes in a brightly colored package, it's still WET SAND.

   IF YOU DONT LIKE MY OPINION OF YOU, YOU CAN ALWAYS IMPROVE

   take your reeboks off you teeth and stop running your mouth

   Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend !!!!