Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4737 of 6446

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was fried and eaten on MLK day.
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01-20-2015 19:55 by Jbaby
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If Glenn Beck runs for President, I want to see a birth certificate proving he was born on this planet.
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08-29-2010 18:41
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Obamacare: Just another government handout; this time forcing the funding by tax payers through the threat of penalties for non-compliance.

being chased by a hungry pack of wild poodles!
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03-03-2009 19:12
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Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.
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06-25-2010 18:26 by Joser
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I'm HUGE in Japan...
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03-28-2012 00:35 by Scurry
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Just on the news... boni blue world surfing championships in Australia has just been won by an unknown Japanese man on a fridge!!
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03-16-2011 03:26 by marlise**
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Me to husband: To be clear, when I say “let’s get it on”, I’m talking about the two-person horse costume we got for Halloween.
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09-28-2021 11:24
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I wish I could help run a country into the ground and still take a $100,000 trip for my birthday... btw, your welcomed Obama for your birthday trip.
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08-04-2011 08:47
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I want to become a receptionist so I can say "Your son Rip is on line toot"
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07-21-2011 16:28 by flinnie
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Yesterday a Radio DJ said that America was an Obama Nation, he was sort of right... its becoming an abomination!

I'm the one who screwed you all, but thanks for blaming the black guy.. George. Bush
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11-05-2010 12:40 by Wolf
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"My imaginary friend is better than yours!" ~ religion.
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08-26-2012 13:14
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at 11:08 pm. Troy Davis got what he had coming for the last 20 years. Jury said he did it. Court of Appeals said he did it. Federal Judge said he did it. Supreme Court Said he did it.
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09-21-2011 23:43 by Justice
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I'm going to tattoo "Religion" on my d!ck, and force it down peoples throat and see how THEY like it!
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06-27-2012 14:51
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I'm not saying I'm fat but, my favorite machine at the gym is of the vending variety.
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04-10-2023 21:21
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Husseincare is unconstitutional
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06-28-2012 13:38
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I celebrated 9/11 by swiping towels from motels that were not American owned. Take THAT, Towel Heads.

Bill O'reilly, you are interviewing the President of the US, not Lindsay Lohan. Let the man finish a thought would you? douchebag.
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02-06-2011 20:08 by Imho
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MSNBC: quickly moving back to Bridgegate....CNN: quickly moving back to missing airplane.....Fox News: laughing their asses off......
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11-05-2014 16:30 by Sully
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