Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was fried and eaten on MLK day.
←Rate | 01-20-2015 19:55 by Jbaby Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Glenn Beck runs for President, I want to see a birth certificate proving he was born on this planet.
←Rate | 08-29-2010 18:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Obamacare: Just another government handout; this time forcing the funding by tax payers through the threat of penalties for non-compliance.
←Rate | 10-26-2013 10:56 by mikel dazzloraray Comments (0)  


   messageicon being chased by a hungry pack of wild poodles!
←Rate | 03-03-2009 19:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes people act like the US isn't the only country in the whole world.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 18:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm HUGE in Japan...
←Rate | 03-28-2012 00:35 by Scurry Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just on the news... boni blue world surfing championships in Australia has just been won by an unknown Japanese man on a fridge!!
←Rate | 03-16-2011 03:26 by marlise** Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me to husband: To be clear, when I say “let’s get it on”, I’m talking about the two-person horse costume we got for Halloween.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 11:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could help run a country into the ground and still take a $100,000 trip for my birthday... btw, your welcomed Obama for your birthday trip.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 08:47 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I want to become a receptionist so I can say "Your son Rip is on line toot"
←Rate | 07-21-2011 16:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday a Radio DJ said that America was an Obama Nation, he was sort of right... its becoming an abomination!
←Rate | 11-07-2012 03:44 by Bigdaddy2644 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the one who screwed you all, but thanks for blaming the black guy.. George. Bush
←Rate | 11-05-2010 12:40 by Wolf Comments (0)  


   messageicon "My imaginary friend is better than yours!" ~ religion.
←Rate | 08-26-2012 13:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon at 11:08 pm. Troy Davis got what he had coming for the last 20 years. Jury said he did it. Court of Appeals said he did it. Federal Judge said he did it. Supreme Court Said he did it.
←Rate | 09-21-2011 23:43 by Justice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to tattoo "Religion" on my d!ck, and force it down peoples throat and see how THEY like it!
←Rate | 06-27-2012 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying I'm fat but, my favorite machine at the gym is of the vending variety.
←Rate | 04-10-2023 21:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Husseincare is unconstitutional
←Rate | 06-28-2012 13:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I celebrated 9/11 by swiping towels from motels that were not American owned. Take THAT, Towel Heads.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 09:28 by MingDaKwing Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bill O'reilly, you are interviewing the President of the US, not Lindsay Lohan. Let the man finish a thought would you? douchebag.
←Rate | 02-06-2011 20:08 by Imho Comments (1)  


   messageicon MSNBC: quickly moving back to Bridgegate....CNN: quickly moving back to missing airplane.....Fox News: laughing their asses off......
←Rate | 11-05-2014 16:30 by Sully Comments (0)  




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