love Funny Status Messages
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'All you need is love.' and an IQ low enough to believe that....
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02-09-2017 10:59
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Marriage, Year one: I love watching you shave. You’re so cute! Marriage, year ten: You leave whiskers in that sink one more time and I’ll drown you in it
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03-11-2021 10:07
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Ya'll been dating for three days and you're already saying "I love you" = But that's none of my business.
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02-25-2016 03:29
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Me In 2016 Shaking An Magic 8 Ball: "Will I find love this year?" Magic 8 Ball says, "Hahaha get a cat." D'oh!!!
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04-28-2016 15:37
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Nothing says' I love my dog' quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.
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04-23-2016 03:53
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I'd love to hang out with you, but this nap isn't going to take itself.
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02-10-2019 05:38
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My wife thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.
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06-11-2019 06:41
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ME: (meeting the devil) I love your eggs.
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09-12-2019 10:07
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She said "My love life is complicated." I said "No, nuclear physics is complicated. You're just a slut."
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04-20-2018 07:15
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You wake up from a coma only to realize everyone you love has abandoned you because they went through your phone while you were out.
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04-26-2018 23:47
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It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!
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09-14-2018 10:27 by Truman
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I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.
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10-28-2018 11:26
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Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.
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07-01-2016 01:20
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..... LOVE comes Naturally ........ HATE .... is learned .....
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07-10-2016 01:07
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As you Mature... you learn that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in.
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07-18-2016 10:02
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I can't imagine anyone let alone the B-52's walked outta the Love Shack STD free.
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08-26-2016 15:20
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Things I like about Autumn is slipping on a leaf that was hiding a piece of dog poop beneath it. Love that!!!
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09-17-2016 16:26
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UNITED: We love to fight,,, and it shows. ..
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04-14-2017 09:44 by snotty
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Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
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12-11-2016 22:24
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I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.
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04-16-2018 02:40
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