trump Funny Status Messages

   A new poll says 50% want Trump and 50% want Killary... Me?... I just want a lobotomy..

   BREAKING: Donald Trump fires Corey Lewandowski as campaign manager, plans on replacing him with Gary Busey.

   Trump's wife, Millenium would be the best First Lady ever...we never had a model in that position before.

   John Miller is Donald Trump's fake spokesman, of was it Donald Trump who was John Miller's spokesman?? All we know is both of them sure sounded like Donald Trump.

   The reason Trump won't release his tax returns is religious. He doesn't want us to mock his profit.

   The bright side of Trump eradicating the ozone layer is even with melanoma and retinal cancer, we can all enjoy the pretty polluted sunsets.

   Melania Trump denies breaking immigration laws, claims she was born in Chicago and graduated from Princeton.

   I knew Trump would declare war pretty soon into his Presidency but I didn't think we'd be so lucky he'd declare war on the "Freedom" Caucus.

   Like most hard working Americans, Trump should be allowed to fly a private jet to his personal golf course and palatial estate at the taxpayers expense without. Everyone getting crazy.

   Donald "Twitter Fingers" Trump

   What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!

   Trump removed abandon from NSC so he can devote more time to his role as the White House liaison with the K K K.

   "I'm building a wall around New Mexico too! I don't need any New Mexicans when I'm still trying to get rid of the old ones" - Donald Trump

   The way things are going, the only corporate sponsor of the Republican convention will be Trump Steaks.

   Everybody who hates Donald Trump is going to Hell. -Pope Francis

   Things that give me anxiety: 1) Everything. 2) People without anxiety. 3) Trump supporters at his rallies.

   I think what America really wants from the Trump clan is a pillow fight between Tiffany and Ivanka, or maybe a round of jello wrestling.

   Donald Trump is what happens when John Boehner bangs a llama.

   Does Trump really want people to kill themselves in order to improve the economy and to make his poll numbers rise? That's messed up!

   My buddy was playing a drinking game where he’d take a shot of whiskey every time Trump lies. His funeral is Tuesday.