Yaj Funny Status Messages

   In memory of Whitney Houston, all flags should be lowered a crack..

   Really? Snooki is going to be IN the ball as it descends on NYE?!? And the cast of the Jersey Shore will lead a fist pump? Does Al Qaeda have a request line??

   I'm not a reIigious person, I dont believe in a god, but that wont stop me from wishing you all a MERRY CHRlSTMAS!!!

   you know you're getting old when the morning after pill is a percocet

   If Satan punishes the evildoers, wouldn't that make him a good guy?

   maybe the Giants should sign Charlie Sheen so he can teach him how to start "winning"

   thinks there will be a lot of upset strippers tonight . . . Brazil lost

   wonders at what point in a proctologists life do they decide, 'When I grow up, I want to be sure everyones a$$ho!e is puckered up and functional!"

   So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."

   wants to remind all you out there that the proper way to annunciate it is "ValentiNes day" - not valentiMes day

   The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades..

   Never criticise your husband's faults. It may have been those little imperfections which stopped him from getting a better wife.

   In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.

   Yo mama's so fat that when she was cremated, half of the flights to Europe were cancelled..

   wonders if I have ever eaten an egg that came from a chicken I ate

   thinks the armed forces needs to enlist ninjas..who's ever looking for a ninja?

   Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

   curiosity overpowers knowledge.. Now I have a midget transvestite prostitue knocking on my door

   brought my date a footlong sub thinking it would score me major points, but apparently I went to the wrong jared . . .

   If stalking was considered a romantic gesture I'd probably be married by now.