SEAN Funny Status Messages

   I believe what politicians say about as much as I believe the person who says, "I never got that text."

   If the world was really going to end wouldn't all the expiration dates be set for December 23rd or whatever day it is.

   I love deer season, Especially when I am driving alone in my Blazer , it's amazing how fast I purposely turn into a Comacazi pilot when I see a deer in the middle of the road-

   I don't get how holding the door for a stranger is polite but flushing the urinal for them isn't.

   Come on guys! I've had to deactivate facebook due to the pressure

   There's a new #Aerosmith album coming out, so call your grandma she'll be excited.

   Apparently sticking gum in a girl's hair no longer counts as flirting.

   I imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters.

   If I ever die I want to be buried in my refrigerator in case I wake up and want pudding.

   Felt I was deralict in my fatherly dutties...so I taught James the 'milk milk lemonadej childhood diddy....which he LOVED I might add.....