friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   In life everything has a Yin & a Yang. Without demoralizing Monday mornings, there would be no debaucherous Friday nights.

   Worked out for an hour. Ate two brownies. Somehow I am able to justify this because its Friday...

   Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of big regret and big hangover for Sunday.

   Aah, It's the weekend again. Time to gather the family around the computer or smart phone and read out my status updates for the week. Keep smiling my friends.

   If you're drinking and driving this weekend don't forget to not text much

   giving my liver a pat on the back for holding up this weekend

   Friday the 13th is such a bunch of crap..... hang on, going to go see what this guy in a hockey mask wants at the door.... it's not even hockey season, what an idiot.... brb

   I guess I have to set my phone on OKC mode this weekend........No Rings!

   dont forget to turn your clocks back this weekend, i'm turning mine back to 1970 when we had no illegal immigrants

   I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die on Friday.

   *walks into the liquor store* What kind of black Friday deals yall got going on?

   The only Happy END that I know it's the weekEND

   Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.

   M̸o̸n̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸u̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ W̸e̸d̸n̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ Friday!! just say'in :))

   Anywhere in the word that is UTC-5 or less will get a full moon on Friday, Sept. 13 2019. So the next one isn't 2049..... Just sayin...

   I smash mirrors, walk under ladders, spill salt & cross paths with black cats. Be afraid... be very, very afraid, its Friday the 13th!!!

   I do declare douchebaggery and shenanigans! Happy F-Off Friday

   Says she disagree with Kay Jewelers. She would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

   Men it’s simple. Work all day, fix things in the evenings, paint the house, wash the cars and dogs on the weekend and give us 100% of your attention…

   Black Friday Separating Americans from money they don't really have since 1966.