Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
←Rate | 10-27-2015 21:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon My personal workout routine would include jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck & carrying too much weight on my shoulders.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 08:47 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think I'm sleeping in this tent to see that stupid Twilight movie, I'm just first in line for Black Friday.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 19:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon To find Waldo, you must first find yourself
←Rate | 02-27-2013 22:20 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single guy "I can't do anything right." Married guy "I can't do anything, right?"
←Rate | 06-10-2015 21:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The original plan for Mount Rushmore was to have them all making out with each other.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 13:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harry Potter and the Soul Crushing Responsibility of Adulthood.
←Rate | 10-13-2012 15:32 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear the penicillin worked. Better luck next time..
←Rate | 08-24-2010 21:58 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the mood to push someone down the stairs hit them over the head with a fire extinguisher then bury the body under the garden patio
←Rate | 03-24-2010 13:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon 14-year old Becky writes "Stop wars" as her Facebook status. It gets nine "likes", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it.
←Rate | 06-09-2012 19:23 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?" I mumble into the tv remote.
←Rate | 09-29-2016 22:35 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world.
←Rate | 01-07-2013 14:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first time I got drunk, I threw up in a neighbor's silverware drawer. I just closed it and never looked back.
←Rate | 10-06-2010 12:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
←Rate | 02-22-2015 15:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon First 5 people to like this shall receive a hand crafted statue of me wrestling an invisible bear.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 17:02 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 09:03 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon One in two people suffer from chronic suspicion. Could it be the person you're with RIGHT NOW??
←Rate | 05-25-2012 23:52 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
←Rate | 07-03-2015 13:10 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Update the force, Luke" Adobe Wan Kenobi
←Rate | 12-26-2015 10:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey! I said no pickles! That's it...I wanna speak to the frigg'n McManager!!!
←Rate | 03-24-2010 13:33 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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