Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   in front of his home with every electric fan he owns blowing upward, in a defiant act against Mother Nature.....Enough with the snow lady, just go watch "The Waltons" reruns until Spring......

   Mother Earth will soon die. We still have the universe. :D

   Our constantly changing mother earth....The original bi-polar.

   its been so windy lately, I think mother nature ate some bad Taco Bell.

   that all you got? Come on Mother Nature, put your big girl panties on!!

   If this rotting pumpkin of a man said or did any of this to your wife, mother, daughter you'd do all you could to stop him, right? #Vote

   I wanted to serve my wife breakfast in bed but she wouldn't cooperate. By the time I got her tied up so she couldn't get out I had to feed her myself. It got a bit messy, but happy mother's day anyway

   the amount of times ones mother enters the room whilst one is watching a movie is equally proportional to the amount of times that a "s*x scene" appears in the movie, and so it seems!

   My mother always told me that a good man is hard to find. By that logic Bin Laden is the finest man to have ever lived.

   Ahh Bud light the sweet lower calorie nectar made by mother nature

   Only with my mother could me saying "getting old sucks" be heard as "getting oral s*x".

   Moms are really very clever!! within the first 10 minutes of visitng her, she read my mind better than I ever read it myself! I could never be a real man just like my own mother.. love you mom!! :-)

   Thanks to Maury I've only had to buy one Mother's Day gift for several years.

   The year is 2073. My wife and I rest in side by side burial plots. Waking up in the middle of the night our 57yo son, for reasons beyond his understanding, digs a horizontal hole between us and gets in. His head near his mother and his feet kicking my c

   Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

   Today is National Unfriend Day... but what if mother won't let me unfriend?

   Half way to my mom's place for Mother's Day,,, only have about 3 more feet of digging.

   Mother, I would appreciate it if you didn't use scented laundry detergent, I don't feel like walking around smelling like Fresh Mountain Breeze...

   being 39 and after 20 years of living with my mother never understood what she meant by..."boys piss in the toliet" when we thought we were......Until NOW that I have a boy to clean after........GEZZZZZZZZ........

   Polar vortex proof Mother nature is not having a gender identity crisis. In everyday terms that's cold hearted.