SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Girls spend 20 minutes eating dinner and 40 figuring out who owes what.
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02-19-2014 17:14 by SEAN
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My kid's new teacher asked me to describe his personality so I just videotaped me crying and taking shots of Vodka.
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02-19-2014 17:17 by SEAN
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I love when people make a photo of their kid as their Facebook profile pic so it's like a baby is screaming about gun rights.
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04-11-2014 15:41 by SEAN
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I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
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02-18-2015 07:43 by SEAN
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"Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations. They may burst and result in a leak..."
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07-27-2010 01:06 by sean
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Don't worry guys, Casey Anthony will eventually go to jail for stealing back her sports memorabilia at gunpoint. Let's just ride this out.
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12-20-2011 15:01 by SEAN
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They call mens shaving cream "Beard buster" so why dont they call womens shaving cream "Bush buster"?
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05-09-2011 08:40 by SEAN
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Heard Bill Clinton on the radio, someone asked how his wife's head was, couldnt help but think probably not as good as Monica's..
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01-08-2013 07:34 by SEAN
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Before we jump all over him, are we sure Romney wasn't counting himself as one of the 47% of Americans who don't pay taxes?
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09-19-2012 16:51 by SEAN
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People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous.
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10-01-2012 08:23 by SEAN
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If you're having a weird pain today remember, tons of people die from that stuff all the time.
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12-09-2013 09:53 by SEAN
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Camping is a great way to show people that you hate your own home but can't afford a decent hotel.
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06-19-2012 08:45 by SEAN
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So the guy in Miami who ate that other dude's face was NOT on bath salts, just weed. What kind of weed gives you the munchies for hobo face?
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06-29-2012 10:23 by SEAN
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She was like the apple God warned Adam and Eve about
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03-24-2011 09:02 by SEAN
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More snitches will be able to afford stitches under ObamaCare.
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01-17-2014 11:41 by SEAN
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Nicholas Cage is the Nickleback of actors.
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05-03-2012 11:45 by SEAN
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Ghosts don't seem as scary when you remember that a lot of 'em have names like Jeff or Becky.
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10-30-2013 10:38 by SEAN
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The most embarrassing thing for Lance Armstrong is admitting he took performance-enhancing drugs to ride around on a children's toy.
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01-23-2013 09:44 by SEAN
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I used to work at the post office, I told people I was a mail escorts...
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08-31-2012 13:12 by SEAN
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Life Lesson 585: I should write a book about things not to say: Like, it is very unwise for someone to tell a lady struggling with a diet that they would actually loose 10lbs by shaving their back hair. The doctors tell me I should be able to walk again
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01-31-2011 08:12 by SEAN
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