moon Funny Status Messages

   I believe in Santa! but I'm not so sure if he believes in me?

   I don't usually get asked out by women, but when I do it's usually on the first of April.

   You know you're a classic VW owner if your friends always ask to borrow tools when you stop by because they know you're carrying them with you.

   It's Sunny!! Which is kind of like a "It's snowing!" post, but better because it's sunny and not snowing.

   Just want to wish everyone a happy new year!....in case you missed the million posts before this one saying the same thing.

   Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place.

   Did I miss the grammys again! darn that makes like 10 years in a row.

   Want to meet eligible singles in your area? Then mill around the Valentine candy clearance aisle.

   Wish every project I start was as easily finished as in the how to videos.

   I'm no longer afraid to say that I loved Milli Vanilli's songs!.....or whoever it was that perform their songs.

   Looking at people posts I think facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “What’s your problem today!?”

   I know how can cure the Coronavirus. Stop socializing! And you could give me the Nobel Peace Prize later thank you.

   I'd really like to get personalized license plates for my car but they're so expensive I decided to change my name to XJS-3582

   I decided not to host the Oscars this year and see they couldn't find anyone to replace me.

   Alcohol kills!....But on the bright side of that, if it wasn't for alcohol most of my friend's would have never been born.

   Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.

   For sale: Slightly used Christmas tree. Can pick up in front of neighbors house.

   Think I've been staying home isolating for too long as I just watched a Hallmark holiday Christmas movie in its entirety and I actually thought it wasn't corny.

   "No, I just carry it around to look cool" was my reply after being asked "Do you play?" in regards to the guitar on my back.

   I can always tell when a friend spent a lot on their kitchen remodel when I can't find their garbage can.