SEDDY90 Funny Status Messages

   If chains and whips excite rihanna then why did she break up with Chris Brown ?

   If lesbians hate men so much, then why do they all try to look like truck drivers?

   Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!!

   I met a woman last night who said she would take me to heaven for $50. Damn these religious fanatics and their annoying fund-raising scams

   Fought a guy in a wheelchair. He said I'll get you when I get to heaven and get my legs back. I said, it's a Stairway to Heaven, not a ramp.

   A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

   My wife would buy anything. Just this afternoon I came home to find a naked man in her closet.

   I asked my wife why her facebook password was SneezySleepyDopeyDocHappyBashfulGrumpy she said it needed to be seven characters

   Never chase them, quickly replace them. Mistakes? Nahh, I don't retrace them. I just move on and mentally erase them.

   When those 3 phonecalls a day turn into a couple of text messages a week #DownHillRelationship

   Happy Friday the 13th!! Hockey mask... Check... Machete... Check...

   Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!

   Spongebob is Asian. He's yellow, can't drive and does karate.

   We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up like Batman & The Joker.

   We do it on the bed,on the kitchen counter,on the floor and in the backseat of a car.Gosh...we text EVERYWHERE!

   You Are Not A MAN if you can make A BABY, Your Are a Man Who Can Raise One Especially One which is not yours ~ Mr. Krab

   Why do men get circumcised? Because women will GRAB anything with 20% off!! :))

   Man I wanna throw a book at someone face and be like "I Facebooked you!" Lol

   BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.

   Relationships are like drugs, they either kill you, or give you the best feeling of your life.