Eddy Funny Status Messages

   i can outsmart a lot of ppl on a computer...it's the real world that makes me look like an idiot

   i must be part zombie because i've been looking for a woman with brains

   I wake up feeling like a golden statue....everyone else is the pigeons

   IKEA is just adult LEGO sets

   I think facebook is a teenager...its going through alot of changes lately

   with some of the ugly pics some people post of themselves, I'm just glad facebook isnt in HD

   I didn't see a friend's day video of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, & Chandler

   nobody likes a stalker. it's what this chick was saying as I read her lips through my binoculars

   if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a "selfie"?....that's a "groupie"

   men's prison is a lot like facebook...if someone really likes you, they'll poke you a lot

   we shoot off Chinese fireworks to celebrate our freedom from the British

   maybe they should do like a Hunger Games city version....Ferguson vs Baltimore

   i had a sexy cashier tonight at the store....it was self check-out

   If you mix Jack Daniels with a Smirnoff, are you drinking a jack-off?

   happy fathers day to all the ones who came home with the gallon of milk

   some people are like push-up bras....they make a mountain out of a mole hill

   been single for so long I should change my name to "Kraft"

   I already have a "fear" book...my old yearbook

   the "check engine" light came on. I checked & the car definitely has one. It makes loud noises & drips some stuff all over the place so I know it's there

   if I pay Netflix each month & choose to watch Star Trek, am I paying a DATA plan?