DAVID Funny Status Messages

   I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve multi orgazims. Don't worry if you can't come! For those of you that will come...Sign the guest, list below!

   I think they should make Sarah Palin the new Pope. Cause she can see heaven from her back yard!

   "Girls Gone Wild"....Just Sequestered President Obama..I Betcha!

   I fractured my @ss today doing a cannonball into the bathtub today...

   I'm going to try and say this te nicest way possible. wait I better hold my tounge when I say .... "FQ!"

   with out me awesome would just be awes

   When I'm alone my right hand starts to freak out..Im Sexy And I No It!

   Please help me! The invisible spider-monkeys are trying to sequester me!