Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   HIM: “You look like a Barbie!” HER: “Thanks. You mean tall, slim and beautiful right?” HIM: “Hell no! I mean plastic and without a brain.”

   Someone has stolen my wife's knickers off the washing line.............. They can keep the knickers but, please, bring back the 28 pegs.

   Okay I'll stop. But I'm not going to collaborate or listen.

   Show me on this doll where the evil Monday touched you.

   Your Body is a Temple, let the Spirits in....preferably in shot form.

   Marriage: because if you love them why not get the law involved

   It’s like Lil Wayne gets a tattoo for every whack song he releases.

   The best thing about falling over when you're home alone is that you can just lie on the floor and take a nap.

   Some people hope their search for happiness ends in love and fulfillment, I just hope mine ends in minimal bloodshed and no felony charges.

   They key to not crying when cutting an onion is severing your emotional bond with it beforehand.

   This getting up at a time I don't want to get up and going to a place I don't want to be is really starting to feel like work.

   I fell in love today. So what have you guys done to ruin your day?

   A man was arrested having weed growing in his backyard today. He claims the evidence was planted.

   If someone asks what you do for a living and you reply "I'm a lunatic" they won't ask any more questions.

   Ice cubes just get in the way when your drinking becomes serious.

   It's fun to confuse people by using common sense.

   My thoughts of you make me the perfect mixture of happy and horny.

   why do chickens wake up so early? it’s not like they have a job or go to school. all they do all day is just walk around eating and sh*tting.

   I don't care if I'm buried or cremated, as long as I never die.

   Facebook: Where you can be who you wish you were.