BEGO Funny Status Messages

   “Who is this I just got a new phone?” Really means I didn’t bother to store your number because you aren’t that important.

   Lazy Rules #1:The farther away the remote is, the more you like what's already on TV.

   Facebook says we're 'friends' ,but trust me, I wouldn't hesitate to kick you in the teeth.

   Sometimes I wish I could be one of my friends for 1 day, to see how it is to hang out with me..

   The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing

   Pretty sure I could make an entire meal with the crumbs in my keyboard.

   Since the damn world is ending in 2012, I've decided to buy everything at places with a "Don't pay until 2013" plan.

   Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.

   The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.

   When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.

   I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.

   I tell people to have a great weekend at noon on Mondays hoping they won't talk to me for the rest of the week.

   Sometimes relationships last longer when facebook doesn't know about them.

   Be your own best friend. Everyone will be jealous.

   Facebook is the leading cause to cell phone battery deaths.

   My shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

   I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house.

   Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party

   Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook

   Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.