Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   The only difference between sanity and insanity is someone else's opinion.

   Girl you're so ugly that when construction workers see you they get back to work.

   Spiders - because women need to know they are not independent.

   Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family.

   After he stops crying, can I try again, I promise I can juggle babies.

   I wouldn't take a bullet for someone because taking something that's not yours is called stealing and that just ain't me son.

   Dear Women, We're not lying, we're trying to prevent you from killing us. Love, Men

   The Police will come right away when you tell them your baby is locked in the car. They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby.

   Never go arm wrestling with a man who has been single for over a year.

   Some people look forward to the morning to have a new challenge. I look forward to the morning to have my cup of coffee.

   Remember this weekend to help your girl relax by telling her she "needs to relax."

   Fellas: Let a woman wear the pants in a relationship. They are coming off later anyways!

   I did so much yard work today, I might get deported.

   If you had to run through a Cambodian mine field, or let Lindsay Lohan drive you to the store, which running shoes would you choose?

   I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.

   Seriously, who the hell goes to North Korea and expect to have a good time there?

   I'm proud of every woman I've ever had sex with. I don't regret any of you.

   I still remember that moment I said I love you too, coz thats the exact moment my life got fuçked up!

   I'm sorry I'm so emotional bro. It came with these skinny jeans and selfie stick.

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.