bego Funny Status Messages

   The number one lie in the whole world is...i swear I will love you forever..

   Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.

   You know your a$s is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo.

   Oh, you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram

   Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I’ll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..

   Always believe a woman when she says: “You don't want to know!”

   Teenage girls: stop making the duck face in all your photos. I don't know who told you it was attractive cause it isn't. You look quite stupid and immature, not to mention ugly. Mostly stupid. Real stupid.

   A Mosquito landed on my friends face.. Easiest decision of my life..

   You need to have an open mind, but not so open that your common sense falls out.

   Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality than any other mammal. Well, that explains Edward.

   “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”

   The wrong relationship will have you feeling more alone than when you were single..

   Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.

   When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you've done well.

   To bad you can't photoshop your UGLY personality...

   Hey person calling me from a blocked number, I’m not answering. Ever.

   If the person is more than 25 feet away from you, holding the door is creepy.

   It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

   The annoying moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you're watching.