friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Who wants to replay the Superbowl next weekend, just so we can have another party?

   Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!

   A classic model Bentley owned by Keith Richards sold over the weekend for $1.2 million and features a secret compartment for storing drugs. The compartment is called Keith Richards.

   Hey Friday! How ya been buddy?

   Ready, Set, Weekend !

   alcohol and drugs is not the answer...unless you're asking what I'm doing this weekend.

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.

   Well, the weekend certainly lived up to it's reputation.

   Daily log Monday morning, 9:49am: I have decided I am done trying until Friday night, I've already been here too long this week.

   I just got the minivan washed if anyone wants to party this weekend.

   I think daylight saving time should start on a friday at 4pm instead of 2am sunday morning.

   When is it a good time to mention the Easter holiday tradition of eggs and bunny rabbits are pagan fertility symbols and the words Easter, Easter Bunny, or Easter Egg appear nowhere in the Bible? Not this weekend then?.....

   I picked up this chick last Friday night. I'm not saying she's fat or anything, but when I pulled her panties down to her knees, her a$$ was still in them. :(

   This girl just agreed to go on a date with me this weekend. Now I just need to email her my terms and conditions and we are good to go.

   Ladies, please for god's sake, there is a big difference between your diary entries and Facebook status updates. We really dont need to be informed about your period, your abortions or that STD you caught over the weekend. Keep that sh*t to yourself.

   Who do atheists thank for Friday?

   Why even ask how my weekend was if youre just going to interrupt me halfway through to say Yeah, I saw your Facebook post.

   My weekend mood fluctuates between “better get the lawn mowed before it rains” and “Hurry up and rain so I can’t mow the lawn.”

   Figured It Out Black Friday is Like Child birth,U know Its gonna Be a LONG process,Ur Even excited about it the night B4 It Happens BUT as soon as it starts It Hurts Like Hell,U Wanna Kill Every1,pray that it ends soon & promises to never 2 do it again

   The power of Friday compels you! The power of Friday compels you!