Friday Funny Status Messages

   "Free at Last!! Free at Last!! Thank God Almighty it's Friday!!!!"

   1-2 Freddy's coming for you... opps wrong movie! Happy Friday the 13th filled with horny teenagers and not machete wielding maniacs!!! ;)

   Good morning Tuesday...tell your pal Friday he needs to come around here tomorrow.

   Roman Catholic dietary law classified aquatic mammals as fish rather than meat. therefore, you are free to eat beaver on Good Friday.

   ATTENTION !! Today has just been Upgraded to ... FRISKY FRIDAY !!! Thank you...

   To my Atheist friends: Who do you thank now that's Friday?

   playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone

   In life everything has a Yin & a Yang. Without demoralizing Monday mornings, there would be no debaucherous Friday nights.

   Worked out for an hour. Ate two brownies. Somehow I am able to justify this because its Friday...

   Forecast for the weekend - On Friday, mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement close to midnight on Saturday. Increasing chance of big regret and big hangover for Sunday.

   Friday the 13th is such a bunch of crap..... hang on, going to go see what this guy in a hockey mask wants at the door.... it's not even hockey season, what an idiot.... brb

   I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die on Friday.

   *walks into the liquor store* What kind of black Friday deals yall got going on?

   Rebecca Black - "its friiday, friiday" *Jason Voorhees walks in stabs her in the face and goes home* yeah, Friday the 13th.

   M̸o̸n̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸u̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ W̸e̸d̸n̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ Friday!! just say'in :))

   Anywhere in the word that is UTC-5 or less will get a full moon on Friday, Sept. 13 2019. So the next one isn't 2049..... Just sayin...

   I smash mirrors, walk under ladders, spill salt & cross paths with black cats. Be afraid... be very, very afraid, its Friday the 13th!!!

   I do declare douchebaggery and shenanigans! Happy F-Off Friday

   Says she disagree with Kay Jewelers. She would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with alcohol than Kay.

   Black Friday Separating Americans from money they don't really have since 1966.