tsparks Funny Status Messages
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Welcome to Facebook! Where liars tell more lies, enemies are Facebook friends, weak people turn into Facebook gangsters, haters complain about haters and every person who talks about money ain't got none.
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02-01-2012 17:13 by Tsparks
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Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
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11-16-2011 17:19 by tsparks
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Women drivers are like stars in the sky. You can see them, but they can't see you.
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04-13-2012 20:34 by Tsparks
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I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything
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02-02-2012 00:08 by Tsparks
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I fell down the stairs today, and may never walk again. I wasn't injured, I'm just really lazy.
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05-08-2012 22:55 by Tsparks
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Pretty excited that the Patriots and the Giants are opening for Madonna at the Superbowl
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02-05-2012 15:35 by Tsparks
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Newly divorced woman explaining reason for splitting: We had religious differences - he thought he was God, I didn't.
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02-03-2012 13:29 by Tsparks
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Attitude like a underwear , don't show it , just wear it.
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02-08-2012 01:07 by Tsparks
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When people ask for candy I'm eating, I give them the flavor I don't like.
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11-16-2011 13:51 by tsparks
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It's all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw
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11-16-2011 02:36 by tsparks
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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it
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02-08-2012 01:04 by Tsparks
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can't wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2, as Bella and Edward get hunted down by Blade! Perhaps that's just wishful thinking
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02-24-2012 17:13 by Tsparks
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Whenever I wait behind a door to scare someone, they always take too long to come, so I leave disappointed.
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11-16-2011 13:48 by tsparks
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2010: You're only cool if you have silly bands. 2011: Planking is the bomb! 2012: Let's go choke on cinnamon
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02-23-2012 01:53 by Tsparks
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Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for google earth
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11-16-2011 13:49 by tsparks
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I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up
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11-17-2011 02:35 by tsparks
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always know where the remote is all it takes is one sad animal commercial to kill the mood
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07-19-2012 23:03 by Tsparks
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"I'm strong because I know what it's like to be weak."
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11-16-2011 02:55 by tsparks
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Dear ugly people: Stop playing hard to get, you're already hard to want
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05-15-2012 18:46 by Tsparks
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I study. I take the test. I pass it. I forget what I learned...
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11-18-2011 19:18 by tsparks
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